Saturday, March 11, 2006

To Blog or not to Blog, that is the question…

"For a long time everybody refuses, and then almost without a pause, everybody accepts."

A little back-story for you: (whoever "you" is, it's so intriguing, all this talking to an anonymous audience, under the assumption that someone out there is actually listening!)

It happened to me with cell phones. Suddenly they were cropping up everywhere. It was no longer just the man with the suit and tie in line at the bank chatting away loudly to someone on his clunky cell phone, obviously engaged in a VERY important conversation because he was “obviously” a VERY important man! People everywhere were gabbing away, to an annoying degree. The ringing at the movie theater, or the extra loud conversation at the cafe, those were the worst. I would roll my eyes and hold my breath with death threats rolling endlessly through my head. I began to file away all cell phone users in my head under: OBNOXIOUS. Then, ever so slowly… I started to wonder what my life might be like with a cell phone? I might feel more comfortable driving! I told myself, just in case anything every "happened." It sure would make moving a lot easier since I would have to wait to have a phone hooked up in my new apartment. This way I could have a business card with just my website and my cell phone and that wouldn't have to keep changing, it would be permanent even if my location was not. (Note: I still do not have a business card, two years after this thought) They seemed like good enough reasons to me! And so I marched on down to the sprint store and brought my shiny new camera phone home, and the rest is history. In fact, I can hardly imagine what my life would be like without it. Oh I would survive of course, albeit miserably. In retrospect, none of those "reasons" are what really made me buy a cell phone. The god honest truth is, I just plain WANTED one. I didn't need one. I had played the part of protestor long enough. It was time to give in to my cravings and that soft little voice inside my head, convincing me. Slowly poisoning me. I was being converted by the masses. Fall in line! Follow the flock! And feel, well… cool.

The reason I mention this is because I have a sense it is not unlike me starting this blog. I admit, I was anti-blog up until just recently. My experience with blogs was nothing short of awful. I will not go into the details, because to do so would be engaging and perpetuating a situation that has since been laid to rest, thankfully. However, I will say the blog in which I speak of was written merely for slander, cruelty and manipulation. SO much drama caused from such a small-minded person's words.

The voyeurism involved in reading people’s blogs is addicting. I certainly have my favorites bookmarked. Blogging is exhibitionism at it’s finest. Deep down even the shyest of creatures longs to be on stage. We all want our say. We want to be heard. Part of me is simply curious what this world is like. I’m an avid journal keeper, I have been since I received my first diary on my tenth birthday, complete with its very own lock and key. I do not share those journals with anyone. They’re for me and only me. Conversations with myself. Blogging is certainly not journal-ing. The mere fact that it is a public forum changes the way we present our thoughts. I'm aware of this and won’t deny it. However, I aim to be as honest as possible with this blog. As ME as I can be, up on my stage I'm calling: Midge. No, of course I don’t NEED a blog. I just WANT one.

So I'm trying it on for size, to see if it fits for a while. Who knows what will come out of it. I know now that there are considerate, respectful cell phone users, and there are those who are completely obnoxious. Same goes for bloggers. I will not allow myself to be one of those small-minded people.

But most importantly of course, is that now I feel, well… cool.

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