Lately I’ve been trying to be inspired by my work. I haven't felt charged by it in quite some time. Can we really TRY to be inspired though? Or is inspiration just that magical, mystical, makes you well up with joy moment that surprises us at the most unexpected times? Fleeting, it must be harnessed while it lasts, because one simply does not know when it will return? Or can we "nurture" inspiration? Cajole it to come to us somehow… wave a treat in front of it, and make it lick its lips. I wish I knew such tricks to tame with.
Something about the tedious metalsmithing process involved in producing the work has lost my interest in the past few months since my last exhibition. (Just the fact that I am referring to it as "tedious" is a bad sign I think.) What happened to the days when I literally had to force myself to STOP working? When at 3am my eyes would finally give out on me I eventually would give in, but only until the morning. Now my eyes look away, anywhere but at THAT door. As if to cross the threshold would be to cross the gates of hell. Apparently I would rather re-arrange my filing cabinets than open my studio door because that's exactly what I did earlier this week. wow.
Am I scared my ideas will run out? Yes. I'm always afraid there is a brick wall lurking in my near future and I'll walk face first into it. Thankfully I haven't hit that brick wall just yet, but my lack of enthusiasm and inspiration could be a sign I'm stumbling in that direction.
I know I need to advance my metalsmithing skills, that's been true for a while now. That's part of my grand plan when I move to NYC. I need to get out of this town. My creativity is not being nurtured here. The part I hesitate to admit out loud is whether or not I'm losing interest in Barbie all together. Am I ready to move on and work on a new series? Perhaps. Or maybe I just need a new approach?